Finding My Seal Skin: Lessons in Letting Go and Surfing After an Earthquake By Josie Santiago
When I landed in Jamaica for Groundswell’s surf therapy retreat in 2023, I experienced a literal earth-shaking welcome. Just 20 minutes after my plane touched down, as I handed my passport to the immigration officer, the ground beneath me began to rumble. Jamaica had just felt a 5.4 earthquake.
As a lover of symbols, I couldn’t help but wonder if this seismic greeting had a deeper meaning. What did it signify for my upcoming retreat?
Despite the initial shock, the earthquake turned out to be the only truly frightening part of the retreat. The rest of the experience was nothing short of transformative. The people I met were warm and welcoming, the ocean was a breathtaking canvas of blues, and the lessons I learned were profound. And yes, I even learned how to surf!
The ocean became my teacher, revealing much about myself in the process. It taught me to stay present, to trust my body, and to confront and manage fear when trying something new. One key lesson was the importance of letting go. If I clung too tightly to my fears, I’d be unprepared for the next wave.
Amidst all this, we delved into a chapter from *Women Who Run with the Wolves* by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, titled “Recovering One’s Seal Skin.” This chapter, which we read and reflected upon, stirred something deep within me. It unveiled a painful truth that I had been avoiding and it was causing a deep sadness within me. Like the seal in the story, a part of me felt like it was dying, and I needed to reclaim what had been lost.
When I returned home, the retreat’s impact was profound. I made significant life changes: ending an 8 year relationship, moving back to my hometown, and starting a new job. It was a period of considerable change and loss, but I knew it was what I needed to Recover my Seal Skin.
Just like the earth reveals new minerals after a quake, I began to uncover new sources of strength and stability within myself. The upheaval had laid a stronger foundation for my personal growth.
One of the first things I did in my new home was seek out a Groundswell community. It was reassuring to find so many available to connect with. I joined Natalie again, this time in San Diego, and got back on the surfboard for the first time since Jamaica. To my surprise, my body remembered exactly what to do. A year later, the teachings from that retreat were still within me.
Riding the waves once more, I found myself smiling and feeling joy again. I cheered on my fellow surf sisters, relishing the empowerment and confidence that came from reconnecting with the ocean. I left the beach feeling like a total badass, knowing that I could still surf and that I could trust that something powerful in me was still emerging.
In the end, the earthquake was just the beginning of a journey of valuable lessons, and I’m grateful for the tumultuous start that led to me claiming back my power.
My experience with the groundswell community continuously reminds me that the body knows the way. If we are listening and tending to it, it will show us the answers we need for our own healing.
